I am no longer of the opinion that my life is monotonous.
I indulged myself in lots of activities for a few reasons. I didn’t want time for myself as I knew very well that I would waste it royally. Also I didn’t want to give my brain some time to think of impossible things and just focus on what I need to do in the near future. Keeping myself busy taught me to set priorities in life and work accordingly.
But I started to realize that trying to escape from a monotonous life I made my life a “monotonic busy life”. Everyday dance practice, everyday coding etc. I needed some break. I craved for a new kind of experience which I never had in life. Just that I couldn’t define what it was.
Now it seems God has defined it for me. Or at least he’s started to define it for me. I’ve started to find my world more interesting than it previously was. Surprisingly I’ve realized nothing in the world around me has changed. Or may be those changes are not objective. May be its emotional! May be something in me has changed. Have I started liking someone?
I just can’t believe this. I don’t want to believe this. I have seen many of my close friends struggling cos of this. I've laughed at their plight. I myself have suggested many of them not to fall in this. I’d told them it’s a PAIN. Now I realize now why everyone falls into this. It’s a pain everyone loves to enjoy!!
My brain keeps telling me Liking someone definitely means handing over your emotional remote control in her hand. Whether I like it or not, I’m controlled! Should I override my brain and let it happen? Or should I support my brain who’s been my constant guide from the day I started to think?
Brain vs Heart
Right now I am debating with my brain. The results of the debate are not out. I better not let my stupid brain interfere much in this matter. What say? Suggestions are solicited.